Searching
The searching stage of bereavement is a strong urge to look for the person who has died, pining because they cannot be found. Though the rational mind knows there is no point in searching, the desire to keep on looking is irrepressible.
This searching instinct can lead the bereaved to see the face of the loved one in crowds or supermarkets or on trains. Some people touch and feel clothes of the person who has died because the smell or the visual memory makes them seem closer. Quite often people will talk of ‘seeing’ the departed in the house, or ‘hearing’ them or even ‘smelling’ them. Such glimpses can be frightening, but they are a normal reaction to loss. Sometimes the searching is evident in repeated visits to the cemetery, in the hope of finding the person again.
