Explaining what happens and how to help
Even though children may not understand the meaning of death until they are three or four years old, they feel the loss of close relatives in much the same way as adults. It is clear that, even from infancy, children grieve and feel great distress.
However, they have a different experience of time from adults and may go through the stages of mourning quite rapidly. In their early school years children may feel responsible for the death of a close relative and so may need to be reassured. Young people may not speak of their grief for fear of adding extra burdens to the grown-ups around them; including them in communal grieving, such as the making of funeral arrangements, can help.
We suggest that you tell children as quickly as possible when there is a death in the family. The news should be broken by the person closest to them in as simple a manner as possible. Try not to use too many euphemisms. Children should be encouraged to talk about the deceased, and any questions answered briefly but truthfully.
